Posted by: mandyrd | September 3, 2009

(TTT#1) Cooking & husbands

Welcome to Thursday…Thought & Tip Thursday! Every Thursday I will share a thought and tip based on my experiences.  Don’t worry…I won’t lapse into professional registered dietitian mode.  (I love my profession, but I like to save my work for when I’m actually working!)

Disclaimer: this first thought/tip will not be helpful for single women or women with husbands who cook often!

Anniversary & Bldg63 007I enjoy cooking, but I sometimes feel resentful about it. While I’m working in the kitchen, my husband is surfing the internet. Even when we both worked full-time, I still prepared our dinners. Every time I’d complain, he would say, “it’s not because you’re female…you just cook so much better than I do.”

(Interesting…when we were dating he usually cooked dinner for himself…)

 

I realize that he handles certain household tasks, so perhaps the cooking has become mine. When I get negative about it, I shift my thinking. Cooking is a creative endeavor, not a chore! The work is worth a meal from scratch!  Those thoughts help some. What really helped more, though, was getting my husband involved a little bit.Summer 2006 031

We always go food shopping together on Friday evening. I make a list with food columns based on the Commissary’s lay-out.  In the past, I always held the list and told him what to get.  To increase his involvement, I now give him the list, and he gives me instructions.  After shopping, we have a “free” dinner, meaning I don’t cook.

We had always done the standard “I cook, you clean” routine, but I wanted him to be more involved with cooking.

On Sundays we started the ” — Family Breakfast” tradition. Since he makes amazing pancakes, he usually does the cooking. That way he remembers that he does have cooking abilities!

The breakfast is also good quality time, since he spends half the weekend training.

We decided he would cook on Wednesday nights. I select a recipe, usually something simple.  I repeat the recipe often, so he grows comfortable with it.  When I worked, I would place the recipe(s) along with ingredients on the counter in the morning.  I would also jot any suggestions in the recipe’s margins.

Anniversary & Bldg63 009

Otherwise, I stay out of the kitchen on Wednesdays. He seems to prefer the time to himself.

He enjoys making homemade pizza, enchiladas, shepherd’s pie, meatloaf, and tamale pie. (Yes, I stick to the traditional “male comfort foods” for his cooking nights.)

When we have dinner get togethers, we both plan the menu and prepare the meal.Blog 060

This system has worked for the past two years. We both enjoy it. Also, he has a greater appreciation for my cooking. I rarely feel resentful in the kitchen anymore.

Yesterday was Wednesday, and my husband prepared scrambled egg whites, soy sausage, and French toast. Breakfast foods are always easy and fun to make, especially when your house is a disaster!

 TIP OF THE WEEK: If you feel resentful about doing all the cooking, include your husband in simple, regular tasks.  Ask him to prepare the things he cooks well (homemade pancakes and omelettes for my spouse). Designate one night a week his cooking night. Choose simple recipes for foods he loves to eat (the so-called ‘greasy cheesies’ are my husband’s favorites).

 

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Responses

  1. I love how you’re so organized!! Do you make meal plans for the week in advance? Ross and I are completely disorganized about cooking dinner. Of course, I cook dinner every night; he probably makes dinner once every 3 months. I also have felt resentful on occasions when I have had work to do in the evenings… but then I’ll usually order a pizza. Ross always appreciates the meals I make, and that makes me feel good. I don’t know if I want him making dinner for me once a week (he only knows how to cook pasta), but maybe we’ll try once a month and take it from there! 🙂 BTW if only I could get him to go with me to the grocery store…….

    • Does Ross do certain dreaded tasks that you no longer have to do? (Car care or bills or something?) I refuse to go to the store alone, even now. It’s not fair! For some reason, I’m all about the fairness.

  2. I’m all about fairness, too! Ross is supposed to take out the trash and change the bottled water, but he doesn’t unless I ask him to. He will always do chores without complaining if I ask, but he will NEVER do them unless I ask. Also, he gets a look of utter distress if I ask him to go grocery shopping w/ me. I have used the pregnancy excuse lately, though, and I have told him I need help carrying the heavy things, so he’s gone with me once or twice in the past few months. Baby steps!!!


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